:: Friday, May 30, 2003 ::

Oh yeah ... I got to go in to east west and got to see swords and knives and guns and and and and .... BONGS!!!!!!! :-p lol. oh yeah crack pipes too :-p.

:: Angel of Death 5/30/2003 04:41:00 PM [+] ::
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Hrmmmm... I went to east west ... Got 2 spikes for my book bag ... now I can finish my pentagram off :-D woohoo yeah I know I am uber cool :-D lol. Ummmmm oh yeah ... *cries* No one has posted on my forum ... YOU ALL DONT LOVE ME ... okay well maybe you love me but you dont love my forum. So yeah WHY DO YOU HATE MY FORUM ... JUST BECAUSE ITS INANIMATE DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T HURT!!!!! MEANIES!!!!!!!!

:: Angel of Death 5/30/2003 04:38:00 PM [+] ::
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Weeee devils won again 3 zip..... *in an elmer fudd voice* "be vewy vewy quiet the devils are hunting duck."! lol in other non sports related news.... Ummmmmmmmmmm I have a friend? Lol. Yes I know you are all jealous because I have a friend MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

:: Angel of Death 5/30/2003 12:11:00 AM [+] ::
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-=A Feeling For You=-
You injected me with your venom,
how could I resist your charm,
your beauty, your attitude,
your over all appelingness?
You controled my every thought and
my every movement even when it
didn't seem that way.
You were my SuN.
You were my MooN.
You were a goddess to me.
Now you left me for dead, not a
care for me in the world.
You found some one else for you,
some one better for you.
You Love him now and hate me.
Your happieness is all I want for you,
But I wanted it to be me making you happy.
I damn your happieness.
I damn your love.
I damn your exsistance
I damn myself for doing what ever I did.
I damn everything that happened.
I damn my love.
I damn my exstance.
I damn my lack of happieness.
I want to forget you.
I want to forget what we had.
I want to forget what we could have had.
I want to forget what we would have had.
I want to forget what we will never have.
I want to forget what we will have for now on.
A lack compassion for each other.
A great hate has come between us.
A hate that makes me want to kill.
A hate that makes me want to die.
A hate that makes me miss you more.
A hate that saddens me so.
A hate that makes me forget why I love.
A hate that makes me wish I never loved.

In other news ... Ummm I got a letter from jess...I haven't heard a thing from her in about a year or maybe more ... but yeah you'd think I would be happy to get a letter from her right? ... well the letter wasn't exactly from her ... it was from her husban ... well I think hes her husban ... she died what would be the 10th of may.... He said it took him so long to send it to me because he was too sad to write it ... she died due to a car accident ... she was driving at night and got sleepy and nodded off and crashed in to a cliff side I guess? well the side of a mt. ... ... Bah ... that sucks... but well I guess it was just her time? ... Still pretty sad... She was the coolest person I ever knew...Well I wish her soul luck and hope she is born back as some thing that would fit the way she lived her life and treated people... wether they desurved it or not, Kind caring, loving, and always as an equal even when she knew she was better then a person ... she never treated them lowly or differently...

So this goes out to you Jess ... my friend ... The people in this world who you ever helped ... talked to ... or any thing will most likely miss you ...
Good bye ...

:: Angel of Death 5/29/2003 06:30:00 PM [+] ::
...

Every one has a purpose in life some are there to help people, some are there to cheer people up, some are there to remind you that life is good. But remember for all the good there has to be some bad ... so I figure just about every thing I do ends up fucked up I guess I my purpose in life is to remind people that life isnt all sunshine and flowers, those who listen to me relize that It is true and want nothing to do with it or me. and those who don't are just being ingorant to the truth that stands in front of them just waiting to pounce on them like a cat does to an unsuspecting mouse.

:: Angel of Death 5/28/2003 11:43:00 PM [+] ::
...

He was always really mean to me and stuff anyway.
Well thats nice to know ... I guess the times I was being nice or just normal I was being mean and just being a dick? Or was it that when I was nice it wasn't enough? Bah!

Any way in better news ... I was attacked by a peice of ice today .... It was raining and I guess one rain drop got caught in an updraft and formed in to a hail ball ... and well it HIT ME!!!! THE ONLY FUCKING ONE HITS ME IN THE HEAD!!! Lol. ummmmmmmmm that and my english teacher is mad at me ... she knows I am slacking off X.X lol and shes mad lol. Ummmmmmm monahan is happy because we are hardcoe and made a prog. that solves and explains the gas laws. In history Fitz is mad ish because people were fucking around ... and same with my french teacher lol. and that would be my day.... . ummmmmmmmmm yeah that would be it....

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man"

:: Angel of Death 5/28/2003 07:24:00 PM [+] ::
...

Me : 3 .... NOTHING ..... NEW JERSEY!!!!!! FINAL!!!!!
Jordan : errummmm fuck you

Lol Yes it is true the devils won 3 nothing. Next game is thursday night ... and I am going ... TO GAME 2 !!!!! :-D!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!! Lol. yeah yeah .... other then that not much happened today. :-D!

:: Angel of Death 5/27/2003 10:46:00 PM [+] ::
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Robber Ties Up Adult-Store Employees With Erotic Gear
PHOENIX, AZ-In a creative use of available merchandise, an armed robber tied up the clerks at an adult novelty store with some of the bondage gear displayed on the shelves.
The robbery at Castle Boutique, may have been committed by the same bandit who robbed a convenience store earlier, Phoenix police Sgt. Lauri Williams said.
The clerks were immobilized for several hours with an erotic device called a "waist chain," which immobilizes the hands at the waist, Williams said.
"I don't think they were aroused," said Williams, of the clerks. "They were pretty upset. He had a gun, and they were afraid for their safety.
okay I got an email and it said some thing about guy robs adult-store.... I open it up to see... and This is what I get ... So I figure I found it funny so why not share it with you guys? That and any one from phoenix know where that is? Lol.

:: Angel of Death 5/26/2003 10:21:00 PM [+] ::
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If you are still reading this .. give me your address so I can send you your stuff back ... that is if you actually do want it back.

:: Angel of Death 5/25/2003 10:26:00 PM [+] ::
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"If you know only what one person tells you you know half of a story but nothing of the truth."

:: Angel of Death 5/25/2003 08:59:00 AM [+] ::
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"I'd like it if you would not comment on my journal anymore."

Well I'd like for you to go to hell now ... but you don't see that happening any time soon. And now come on why would I want to do ANY THING that you request? .... yeah no reason.

:: Angel of Death 5/25/2003 08:37:00 AM [+] ::
...

Heh fun times comming home from jaimes ... While waiting for will I hung out inside the hall way in the Apt building banging my head on the wall out of sheer bordom ... my proof of that would be the bump on my head X.X. Ummmmmm and apperently the rents got me a head set for the computer ... HAPPY DAY!!! lol. Ummmm I remembered my sn for Diablo 2 ... Lol... yeah I know I am a loser because my life revolves around my guitar, being online, playing games, listening to music, feeling sorry for myself, being mad at every one else, sleeping, and chatting with friends that cheer me up not make me feel like some random dog turd you step on and are grossed out by. The one that you like scrape off on to a curb and just leave hanging there. and Ummmm I am dizzy and out of it and would like a cig ... or weed ... or a drink ... And I WANT SPIKES ... any one know where I can get spikes ... oh ... not for my hair lol like metal spikes ... I want metal spikes.... and I want to dye my hair .... a random color ... well not random ... but yeah. Any way ... I can say I had fun ... talked about some people ... got mad ... let out my anger toward those persons and now I am cheerful ... ish.... not like totally cheery ... but ... cheered up enough to have a smile on my face... well that and the thought of shooting people with dummy rounds from a 9mm is pretty cool... then pistol whiping them untill they dont look like they did....Yes ... there are alot of demented thoughts in my head now... like how my house is like germany in 1935-45 my dad being the Nazi's, my sister being a german citizen, My mom the french underground, and me the Jews... I get blamed for every thing. Lol.... actually I can relate life to that of the time of the Nazi's.

:: Angel of Death 5/25/2003 02:02:00 AM [+] ::
...

Any way on a better note... I didnt put this yesturday but thanks jordan for this. BUt jordan found it funny that you know how for some people being a vegan is rebelious? Well he thinks that if i have children one of them will end up eating meat and animal products to rebel. Lol... Jordan is a Fountian of knowlage and funny things talk to him ... hes cool.

:: Angel of Death 5/24/2003 04:17:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh yeah and being that you put all your "love" and "heart" and "tears" in to the shit you sent me do you want them back? Well I have one thing to tell you ... Too fucking bad I won't send them back and I don't know what I will do with them.

:: Angel of Death 5/24/2003 04:07:00 PM [+] ::
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Well thanks for being a friend ... calling me a hypocrite ... just what every friend needs ... So now are you really my friend or are you just bull shitting about wanting to be my friend? Because in all honesty I dont thik you do ... so yeah ... go be with your trevor and go have your fucking job and live your life as happy as you want but you know what? I wish as much hell on you as could be possible in this lifetime and in every one to come after.

:: Angel of Death 5/24/2003 04:05:00 PM [+] ::
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Send me an email.

:: Angel of Death 5/24/2003 12:19:00 PM [+] ::
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Hrmmmmm me with green hair.... can you picture that .... Well that idea was thanks to Rita. Lol... Yeah though speaking of colors ... what would be a good color ... seriously? that and SARAH ARE YOU COMMING IN THE SUMMER ... even though that sounds sooooooooooooooooooooooo dirty. Lol. Yeah any way... are you? or is your job going to keep you from coming?

:: Angel of Death 5/23/2003 10:12:00 PM [+] ::
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One can reply and post on my fourm but can't send me an email.... okay ... any way ...

:: Angel of Death 5/23/2003 06:16:00 PM [+] ::
...

Okay well being my hair is a better choice then my wrists ... how should I cut it? You my readers tell me.... should I trim it? Shave it? Leave it? Any one who reads this I want you to go to here
and Look for the post Hair what to do? And tell give me input.

:: Angel of Death 5/23/2003 06:09:00 PM [+] ::
...

" hello hello is there any body in there just nod if you can hear me is there any one home?... " Well You know who you are and you are the one who is blocked so if you give a shit about me then send an email my way other wise dont bother with me because it would be better then you jumping on my case for stupid shit.

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man"

:: Angel of Death 5/22/2003 07:47:00 PM [+] ::
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Welll didnt do shit today so not much to update on ... yeah ... Ummmmmm Sarah hates me ... ummmmm ..... and .... yeah thats all. Lol. I am bored ... Some one entertain me ... ... actually I will go to sleep now so some one entertain me in my dreams. And yeah any way night night...

:: Angel of Death 5/22/2003 12:00:00 AM [+] ::
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Unblocked sarah today. Yay? I guess.... Well today was fun ish ... got to make fun of some mexicans tring to use a ladder to get on to a roof ... It was quite funny being that they stood there for a while before they actually tried to extend the ladder so it would reach the roof.

Ummmmm... Oh yeah ... one person my not like this but I must post it being that it made my day ... Okay well I was told from a friend that a friend of hers was caught shop lifting from pathmark ... Okay most would say so what? Well you see the camaras in pathmark ... barely work... There aren't too many that work... so to get caught you have to be SKILLED!!!

:: Angel of Death 5/20/2003 03:32:00 PM [+] ::
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Rita: silly rat

I siad it once and I will say it again ... I have silly friends LOL

:: Angel of Death 5/20/2003 12:07:00 AM [+] ::
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Ugh ... I didn't feel good when I woke up today... and well my feelings were right ... My stomach was killing me ... that and my one hour of sleep with my great dream that left me with a headache didnt help much. Though I did get to go home. And as you all most likely know where this computer junkie went ... Yup right to bed ... two tumbs ... and then I went to sleep that was around 11ish. woke up at like 12ish ... ate some lunch ... went back to sleep ... and then woke up at 4 ish and so far am still awake.

Okay now for my dream ... I dont know where I was or who I was with but I was getting high. Smoking pot and taking LSD. and then every thing went trippy in my dream and I woke up with ONE HELL OF A .... HEADACHE ( No not christmas [ inside joke ]). I found it quite weird ... fun but weird ... Because It was the first time I have had a dream about drugs since I have been clean ... Wonder what it means ...

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man"

:: Angel of Death 5/19/2003 04:22:00 PM [+] ::
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If you want to know how messed up I am in my head then try standing in my shoes ... Okay? Dont try fucking asking some one who knows nothing about me except for that which I let him know. To know a man walk a mile in his shoes don't ask people who barely know him.

Retaliation is not an abuse of power. It is a human reaction to something done apon that person. People retaliate differently. As seen some take a beating, some hurt others, some just keep it bottled in them and then one day *POP* it all comes out.

To find out the reasoning behind ANY thing I do you have to get in to my head. And I don't want to hear any bs that my head isnt a mess. I am a fuck up in the human design. I am extreamlly emotional yet I cant show them. I look like a bad ass but I am not. I can have no feelings toward some one but on the other hand I would bend over backward for an other. I let others control my life but never let any one tell me what I can and cant do. I am a mess.

And you know what? I don't want some one who can just deal with it. Or just accept it. But I want some one who will deal with my random mood swings ... some one who wont cry because I little things changed or different annoy me alot. Or some one who will accept that I want every thing to be perfect in my eyes not any one elses. If it isn't perfect in my eyes it doesn't matter how good it is ... IT IS NOT ENOUGH ... and if that is too much for that person then don't bother with me. I will not accept any thing less then what I want.

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man

:: Angel of Death 5/18/2003 09:14:00 PM [+] ::
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Lauren: I'm okay. We're good. We're cool brother homie G yo. o.o;

And again I say I have weird friends.

:: Angel of Death 5/18/2003 12:13:00 AM [+] ::
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Played magic today... Yay!!! :) ... Ummmmmmmm sorry shari and lauren for disappering ... I just wasn't happy with the idea of ditching val. ... Speaking of which... Val where were you? ... O well... Any way.... Ummmmmmm Didn't see any one different today unlike yesturday. And yeah other then I have $0.25 to last me untill school starts again I have been relitativly happy... and only 3 days ... welll almost 2 days untill I unblock some one.

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man."

:: Angel of Death 5/17/2003 11:58:00 PM [+] ::
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Huh? What? Trevor? What the fuck did I do now? Or what am I getting blamed for?

I am offically scared ... In the past week 48 times has my blog been viewed ....... WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Lol any way ... Ummmmmmm

"run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man."

:: Angel of Death 5/17/2003 04:18:00 PM [+] ::
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Yay for Rita lol... She has done the impossible... Got me to hang out outside ... IN weehawken lol. Yes I hung out outside :-o Lol. Twas Rita, Hector, Chris, Kristan, two little guys who I know but can't quite remember their names, and myself. It was a jolly fun time. So This post also goes out to Rita. :-p Heh Danke soooooooooo much!!!!!

"Run run as fast as you can you'll never catch me ... I am the gingerbread man."

:: Angel of Death 5/17/2003 01:04:00 AM [+] ::
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Weeeeeeeeeee :) THANKS RITA :):):). Lol. Rita made me happy :)!!! :):):):):)

:: Angel of Death 5/16/2003 12:01:00 AM [+] ::
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There is only one thing I ever regreted about falling in love ... Opening my heart to some one.

I guess I will just stay single its an easier life. Don't have to remember useless dates and dont have to worry that your mate will not fiind you attractive... its just easier.

P.S. YES I AM LONELY AND LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO BE WITH!!!

:: Angel of Death 5/15/2003 10:00:00 PM [+] ::
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I am taking a vac from being involved with any one and thing for 5 days ... Starting today ... so on the 20th I will unblock she who is blocked ... Unless she makes more sn's... maybe I won't block them ... because it would take time to do that ...
but yeah ... any way whatever.

:: Angel of Death 5/15/2003 09:47:00 PM [+] ::
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You know getting called a liar is one thing but getting called a liar when you never said some thing is fucking wrong.

Yes you are blocked ... Don't bother sending me IM's or Emails unless you are saying sorry. Am I being crule? Cold hearted? Maybe but you called me a liar and i didn't say I stoped drinking... I never said that because I wont stop drinking for a while. Any way that is ment for some one but I highly doubt that person will even fucking notice with out reading this.

:: Angel of Death 5/15/2003 01:03:00 AM [+] ::
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Ahem.... I would like to say this and It would please me if you all listen ... My guest book is for guests to sign ... My fourm The thing UNDER the guest book is for people to leave messages ... Please use them as like that and not any other way.... That being said ...

Sorry sarah I cant see the good in life or the beauty when there is so much shit going on. Death ... killing ... murder... rape... theft... ect. I am not a person who can just blow all that off... Sorry. I will never see the good in life ... all that I see is the bad of the human race ... All I see are the mistakes we make and do.

And that also being said ... Today was fun? I guess? I have off of school tomorrow YAY and am going to see the matrix reloaded also =-o lol yes I am going to the movies ON THE MOVIES OPENING DAY!

:: Angel of Death 5/14/2003 06:13:00 PM [+] ::
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And if you read this ... Leave a message in the fourm speaking your mind or some thing like that ....

:: Angel of Death 5/13/2003 10:01:00 PM [+] ::
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Oh and on one other note apperently Sarah is too good to be called a loser. Which would make her too good for a loser. Therefore Sarah is too good for me ... and it sure as hell feels that way lately... that I am getting treated as a lesser being ... but by most people .... not any one in particular. So yeah ... and I really think that Some one gave me great advice and I should follow it...I will some what quote it " you seem to be beating yourself up over this. You really shouldn't." Is that the sign of a true friend? Or maybe some one who cares? Or just maybe some one who doesn't want to hear me bitch about my problems. But who knows who cares... also ... no more will I curve my thoughts or not put some thing because it my offend some one or some bull shit like that.

Sam: (to me) Jew.

Me: (to sam) Jew?

Sam: Yeah Jew.

Me: Quiet you Jew or I will throw you in an oven.

No I am not racist I hate every one equally. Whites, blacks, charlies, ect. Hate 'em all. They all suck and they all are human ... and being human is enough of a reason to be hated.

:: Angel of Death 5/13/2003 09:58:00 PM [+] ::
...

When Thinking about it ... if life were an animal ... It would have to be female.... Complicated... Confusing... Evil... Fucked up ... and most of all ... a Bitch. And for any of you readers happen to be women and find this to be sexist or offensive ... I will tell you this now and not again Deal with it ... If I will bust on italians and jews and every other thing what would make you think that females are off limits?

In other news ... I watched The Rurouni Kenshin movie ... It was sad .... I almost cried.... That is if I could cry....

" The sky reaches so far that no one can escape it. " Such a beautiful quote about a beautiful thing.

When in doubt turn to the sky. It always tells the truth and never leads you to believe other wise."

:: Angel of Death 5/13/2003 09:48:00 PM [+] ::
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How blind her asumptions are...
How I long for her touch...
How I long to hear her spoken voice...
How she will never know...
Oh how she will never know ... ...

:: Angel of Death 5/06/2003 01:39:00 AM [+] ::
...

April: awwwwwwwwwww ray and his stalker sitting in the tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g first comes stalking,then comes talking

I really have silly friends!

:: Angel of Death 5/05/2003 08:55:00 PM [+] ::
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Jordan: yo
Me: Wah?
Jordan: this is the conclusion i've drawn
Me: ?
Jordan: you're more likely to kill yourself out of raging depresion, not hurt anyone else
Jordan: i'm likely to oneday blow up and beat someone to death without relizing it lol

:: Angel of Death 5/05/2003 08:38:00 PM [+] ::
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Weeeeeeeeeee being lonely sucks right? Well being lonly and feeling insignificant sucks more then words can say.

:: Angel of Death 5/04/2003 03:02:00 PM [+] ::
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Woohoo I did a V-scan on my comp today ... found .... 37 VIRUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: Angel of Death 5/04/2003 01:49:00 PM [+] ::
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WEEEEEEEEE I GOT FFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HL!!!!!!!!!!! AND ALMOST GOT SAMURI X!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

:: Angel of Death 5/03/2003 10:17:00 PM [+] ::
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young sounding old people ... that and anal rapist moo cows ... yes they run rampent on this earth tring to take over the world.

:: Angel of Death 5/02/2003 09:32:00 PM [+] ::
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello people. How are you all? I could be doing better but hey can't we all? any way .. the reasont I am addressing the people that are my readers is because I want you to all sign my guest book and sign my forum ... or fourm ... or ... what ever. You sign and make me happy okay.

In other news the report for the science thing I was doing is finished finally... and .... yeah thats about all... ummmmmm...... yeah we are good :-p.

currently listening to Bloody Sunday ~ U2

No I am not going to do that all the time I am just that bored to have to say that ... okay I am done now ... I DONT LOVE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love persons :-p

P.S. TREVOR IS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay I am done

Bye now

XoXoXoXoX

Sorry for the x's and o's lol but I couldn't help myself.

Bye all. Love you too. BUT NOT JORDAN!!!

The Remedy by Abandoned Pools is a good song

I dont know where I heard it before though

I vent my anger, sadness, happieness, and other assorted feelings on this page...

~!!!Beware!!!~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:: Angel of Death 5/02/2003 08:47:00 PM [+] ::
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" I cant believe the news today. oh I can close my eyes and make it go away. How long ... how long must we sing this song how long ... how long."

:: Angel of Death 5/01/2003 09:26:00 PM [+] ::
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE IT WAS A HAPPY DAY FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!

In other news I got un uber early to go to school at 7 ... And I left school at 7 I WAS THERE FOR 12 FUCKING HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And again ... I am done with saying that Loll.

:: Angel of Death 5/01/2003 08:52:00 PM [+] ::
...